Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens;
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens;
Brown paper packages tied up with strings...

These were a few of Julie Andrews favourite things in the 'Sound of Music'.

I wondered what PokerStars players favourite things might be? I expected these could be big hands winning, outdrawing fishes, first places in freerolls, and schnitzel with noodles.

Well, who doesn't like noodles?

PokerStars players often write to the Support Team to ask advice about their favourite things, or else to complain when a favourite feature goes wrong. These are some email comments from players about the Good, the Bad and the Ugly at PokerStars. Recieving emails like these are certainly one of my favourite things about working at PokerStars.

Names have been changed to protect player privacy.

User Names

'Can you remove that player's name? That name is obviously disrespectful to elves.'

'When i started to play poker on your site i wasn't really speaking english,and now than i do... i would like to be able to change my player name .... cause 'glorywalls' is a really a meanless name ... wich doesnt have a good impact on other players. If you can .... change it for DonkeyTown .... that name is really better.'

'How do I change my user ID from joeyshit to joeys_hit?'

'I would like to change my nickname. you know what this name in english mean? but i'm a german man and in my language is this word : brave or eager. I would like change from my name: willi wacker'

Pictures

'You should certainly not allow pictures of squirrels with overgrown anatomy.'

'Please, I want to change my Pic on Pokerstars, course I have now spectacles and my appearance is now modified.'

'he has a picture of an M&M character smoking marijuana which is offensive to me as a fan of the M&M's and not a drug user.'

'Could you please tell me how l can have an image in the gold circle. l would
like the lady whom l think is in the gymnasium.'

Winning & Losing

'I would like to know how I can earn free player points'

'I have won 2 different entries to the Sunday tourney, what happens? Do I start with more chips?'

'Today morning 03H50 in france; approximaty 09H 50 pm in USA. Table Alhair IV Omaha high/low. I wan the cartes n° 11029877284, a winnings of 10 has beeplayed to
the participant "MURPHY" who vanished at once. Many thanks for your regulariring.

Regards
Jean-claude
*Many errors Today'

'I won a ticket to the weekly tourniment on Sunday if I turn off computer do I
loose registration?'

Short a noodle or two..?

'That shows exactly that I had a sraight (King to four)'

'Dear sir/madam, how many quids I must pay for 1000 coins?'

'i played in a room and won a little over 12,000 in chips....when i leave the table, where do those chips go? Please answer me soon. i'm waiting.'

'I want to make a deal at my final table, we'd like chip shop #s chop'

Do you think he wants salt and vinegar with that?

'I recently bought a new computer and downloaded pokerstars. I have been using the site for a while now on my old computer, and the new download does not seem right at all. There is no slide bar to allow me to bet. The table reads that it is 25/50 blinds but when I go to it, it is 10/25. The max money you can bring to a 25/50 table is 50 this says I can bring 1,000,000. It just seems weird. I do not want to be outside the rules. I have tried un-installing the software and re-installing it 3 times now. What do you think the problem is?'

A little while later he wrote back...

'I just realized the problem I am having is that I was sitting at a fixed limit table. I am sorry for taking up your time.'

Lee Jones ran a competion in which players had to write in listing the top half dozen poker nations...

'hello, my name is karen21
i say the top 6 countries r
usa
canada
itality
paris
austria'

Counting the 'countries' is only the start of it.

'I fail to understand why your security department require to see this ID?
(1) My licence was issued in 1976, so it never has had a photo.
(2) I also also pay my utility bills on time, so I have no need for you to check
if they are paid.'

Have you ever heard of 'race games'?

'I was told I had to pay into a fund to play at their table because you had
to be some kind of a car racer.'

'We are a team of guys that play Texas Holdem every week. We do however have a major debate as to what the sequence of the winning suite is. We believe it to be spades then diamonds, then clubs, then hearts. Is this correct and if not what is the correct sequence?'

Suggestions for Improvements

We welcome feedback from our players...

'DEAR MANAGER OR COORDINATOR,

WHEN I WIN A 'SIT & GO TOURNIMENT', ADD THE FREE CHIPS TO MY FREE CHIP STACK. OTHER WISE, THE INSENATIVE TO HAMMER OUT A WIN, IN THE 'SIT & GO', IS LOST. IT'S THE PSYCHOLOGY, THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP HAMMERING AWAY, IN THE STRESSFUL 'SIT & GO', AND WHEN I WIN, I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.

THINK -- "MOTIVATE THE PLAYERS TO KEEP TRYING".'

'Er, thank you for the suggestion...'

Site Integrity

Sadly when poker players lose they sometimes blame our software, rather than their own bad play, or plain old bad luck.

'this isnt random, cause i wouldnt lose 40k of chips within one hour with
absolutely good cards, i have called the cops and they will investigate this
thouroughly'

'I am not reinstalling the software, I'm afraid even having your software on my PC any longer may increase my outdraws at the other poker sites.'

'I know that you will answer something like "Our games are controlled by nanana or ninini...and our games are fair at 10000 %...etc...." but the fact is here. Do you find normal that I loose from 7 monthes an horrible amount without being paid back NOT EVEN ONCE. Do you read me ????!!!! : NOT EVEN ONCE... So from know I will play my games on a big tv screen and record on my Handycam the wholes games sequences, in case that this strange situation, really strange situation happened, not only against me, but like yesterday ON THE WHOLE players, I will be very happy to show this video to the good persons that you really care about if you know what I mean.'

'I have given you every opportunity to either address the deals or provide me with a professional tutor who can help me improve my game. You have refused on both accounts.'

'i keep talking about ur dealiung U KEEP TALKING ABOUT UR SHUFFLE the whole thing is NOT about a shuffle.....u can shuffle the cards or NOT.....its the bloody dealing that counts. u keep telling me u have a perfect shuffle..........but NO MENTION ABOUT UR DEALING......'

But sometimes players get lucky, and they get happy, right..?

'I must say thank you, in this tourney i did suck my opponents out a few times and i said when that did happen i would write you so im doin it.. But still, why cant i suckout when there is more money on the line?'

Wrong.

Poker Characters

'Can you ban my chat for me? I find chatting distracts me from my play. If you dont oblige, I will get a chat ban the old fashion way.'

'weonlyhad2threemtnbreaksin2hoursimhandycappedandittakes

timetogotothebathroomthankforyouremaililikeyourservice'

'First of all, i would like to say that i love Pokerstars so much. I wear pokerstars shirt, i sleep in a Pokerstars pyjama of my own, i play with pokerstars cards with my friends and i even printed the pokerstars logo on many of my underwears. The problem is that last week i wanted to tatoo the logo "pokerstars" on my shoulder. It's my cousin who made it (you can't imagine how good this guy is! He has already tatooed the face of Madonna on my leg... Yes Madonna is the other passion of my life ! If you don't know her you should definitly listen to her music). Anyway, yesterday, my cousin finished the tatoo but he made ONE BIG mistake : he wrote "Pokestars" instead of "Pokerstars." Yes you're right, he forgot the R !

As i guess you know, you can't delete a tatoo that's why i ask you for a BIG favor : Can you change the name of your society to "Pokestars" so i won't be ridiculous my whole life? Thanks so much in advance.'

'You asked us to explain multiple accounts for your security. We do have three accounts on this computer due to the fact that I spilt some wine on my computer and therefore my husband and I have been playing on our daughters computer.'

'Thank you for your reply. Fortunately, i had two people who were watching me play and they all saw the cards. If you are not able to reinstate the loss i will have no alternative but to cancel my account with poker stars and pass on my concerns to the good people of Newcastle and the Central Coast of New South Wales.'

Chat

'i have a chat complaint to make and here is the chat

"mrfoxy: TIME FOR MRFOXY TO SING HIS SONG."

mrfoxy would not remove caps for computer ettiquette'

'Please address the chat of 'BROOLLY' with all his mother and sister comments, my mother has passed and my sister is mentally challenged.'

'With respect the original email i sent 30/5/2007 for bad language i would like to draw to your attention that the language i was using was french and am not aware that that is bad language.'

'you take my chat. ok I can just sue you guys for defamition of charator. you people r f...'

'i feel i have been taken off chat as my punishment for being alive and honest.'

'Hey whats up buddy? Just wanted to see how dinner was and how your mothers doin. Thats good. Well, my chat recently got revoked on accident and I just need you to turn it back on so i can use my strategy to win more poker hands. Thanks alot for understanding my situation and since im much cooler than every other nerd who sits on the computer and plays poker i know my needs will be met.'

'I would really appreciate my chat back....Hopefully only to say GG after I win. I do still have issues but the warden says that if I take my medicine I should be alright. I look forward to chatting one more day of my life.'

So... Sing along now!


When the flush hits,
When the chat stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.