My last post was all about a touching email request from a player, this post is about some of the stranger requests that PokerStars receives. PokerStars Support do their very best to help, but some players do challenge their excellent, aim-to-please, support skills.

All names used in this post have been changed to protect the stupid.

Chat

Table chat is usually used in a friendly way, to make the games enjoyable, but if a player abuses the feature they may have chat privileges revoked. Players sometimes get creative when they ask for chat to be returned.

'The original owner of the account has been killed in a car wreck on Feburary 10. I have been given his account name and have been using it ever since. Please re-instate his chatting privilages.'

'I have since then taken anger management and gotten my license to operate a motor vehicle back. I am really trying to get my life back on the right track so I would really appreciate my chat back.'

'i wasent offending anyone on the table as i was merly cussing under my breathe.'

And some players expect rather a lot from the chat box...

'...my name was not showing up on the tournament board. I asked the dealer why not. No response.'

Will a straight beat a flush?

Some players are new to poker and PokerStars Support are happy to advise anyone who's learning the game. Some players need more help than others.

'I won a ticket to the weekly tournament on Sunday but if I turn off computer do I lose my registration?'

'two days ago i got an error. it was red and grey and popped up by itself. and this was in the middle of the screen.'

'I played the 2,500 tournament it said the first 81 were the "places paid". I was in the top 81 and then it said 4781 would be credited to my account. Now it seems like it is not for real money. If it is just for chips, then why does it say "places paid". When you say "paid", it means you will pay someone and I played this long tournament wasting my time thinking I would win money.'

'Do you see a problem with this?:
Dealer: ABDADS has two pair, Aces and Kings
Dealer: niteflyer452 has three of a kind, Aces
The hand is not possible. Since when is there five aces in a deck???'

Player Pictures

PokerStars allows players to personalise their table button with a picture. Most players think it's a neat feature, but pictures can sometimes cause problems.

'I made a very bad choice putting a real picture of myself on here, it is
causing marital problems...'

'sorry but i need to change my picture again. my mom doesnt like the idea
that her picture is on pokerstars. guess i should of asked her first...'

'...concerning my picture, my boyfriend uploaded a picture for me from a movie,
I didnt realize that it was a picture of a dead cat.'

'A few weeks ago, I had a serious accident and it is difficult for me to all the time to see the face which was mine before this drama.'

'i have seen twice today a player's image be removed & replaced with a capital "R" in a blackball. why is that? what does one have to do to get blackballed in this way?'

What's in a name?

PokerStars allows players to have just one account each, and players can only change their name if there is a very good reason. Here's some requests PokerStars has recieved to do with names:

'Hi...Is there any way I can register another account on my computer? I have split personalities and would like to play on specific accounts on the way I feel that day.'

'i really messed up when i was trying to setup my nickname... can you'll change it from Omar26 to Omar29 please?'

'Please may I be allowed a user id change? This isn't a name its a load of numbers. Thanks from 659753207057'

'My player name is ......JayneGuitar....without the dots.'

'I really don't want to use this as my account name, since it's the name of my dead dog and I would not enjoy playing on your site at all with that very sad memory.'

'I was wondering if there is anyway to have my player name changed? A few years ago I signed up with the name 77forskinner. This was before my son could read. The other day he came in and started watching me, and asked what my name meant, boy was I embarassed. Can you help a guy out!!!'

'Hello pokerstars support. You asked me to provide my real name. My real full name Anton Steblin.
Best regards,

Dexter'

Anything to please..?

Sometimes players decide PokerStars poker is not for them, and despite Support's best efforts request their account to be closed, sometimes in amusing style...

'Your site is pathetic. If I want to lose money and get verbally abused, I'll
visit my family.'

'You simply make it impossible for me to win. Is it because you know Im a good player? Thats not fair.'

'Will you please close my account? I just inherited a couple of million dollars and don't see the point anymore. It was fun though. Thanks.'

Sometimes players ask for help in unexpected ways...

'I enjoy playing 4 to 8 simultaneous sit n go on PokerStars... This morning my Electrical Power was CUT and my PC just shut down. No Power, no PC. No Power, no internet. Dude ! I was not playing! After 10 minutes of investigation, I found that my "Cuisiniere" (in French) has an electrical leak... I shut down my cuisiniere and start to find a new one.

What do you think of this one? Expensive ? I dont know the brand but it seems OK, any advise would be welcome. I hope to play again on stars as soon as possible.'


Sometimes player requests are impossible...

'I would love to know if it's possible to receive hand histories for every hand I played on this site from the past or even every hand I'm going to play in the future.'

'The book 'One of a Kind' about Stu Ungar, who autographed it? The author? I'd like it autographed by Stu.'

'I'd like to set up a name for my 9 yr old daughter the user name will be JessicaWessica is that possible?'

Spellling misstakes

Did you know that many of PokerStars chat complaints involve chickens?

'Subject: Fowl language'

But hens aren't the only animal to cause trouble at our tables.

'Subject: foal language'

'Subject: player cursing in cat'

But don't worry. It is possible to summon assistance at the table.

'I called the modulator...'

If we need to look at a chat log we might need information.

'You asked me for the scream name.'

PokerStars are proud of our random number generator, and the integretity of our site's deal, so we're always happy to discuss this with our players... Or alternatively we could tell you about our digging skills?

'I have a question about your random shoveling...'

We offer regular promotions, and get many questions about these...

'Do you have prefer a friend bonus?'

'I see your freerolls, I put my country as Nederland but thats wrong, can you change to my country? I want to play the Canadese freerolls.'

Whatever your question or concern Support aims to please, but there are limits...

'Please service me soon, as i really enjoy playing on your site.'

If you need customer support service, by email... of just the regular kind, do please write to support@pokerstars.net. We look forward to recieving your emails. Especially if you can't spell.